


Grab the Monet and let's Gogh

by captainandersmith



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Buzzfeed Unsolved True Crime, Fake AH Crew, Fluff, M/M, this is just matt being gay you're welcome
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 07:16:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14806814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainandersmith/pseuds/captainandersmith
Summary: “Hey, what the hell? I haven't done anything wrong.” Matt protested before his face was pushed against the wall.It was the tall sandy-haired man who'd cuffed him and was now pressed against his back. Matt could practically feel the man grin against his neck as he leaned in to whisper.“Let's keep it that way sweetheart. You're not being arrested, this is a robbery. Just be a good boy for us and Jack and I won't hurt you."***Basically a braggvin fic based on the Gardner Museum Heist featured on buzzfeed unsolved a while ago





	Grab the Monet and let's Gogh

**Author's Note:**

> Wow I'm back from the dead and I actually wrote something!  
> The Teen rating is only for swearing, this fic is very soft.
> 
>  
> 
> [ Here ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkxQXxKSWKQ) is the link to the video that inspired this

Half an hour into his shift, Matt was already counting down the minutes until he could leave. There were only so many times he could practice his drum solo with two pens and the desk in front of him, and the energy drink high was beginning to wear off.

 

The only upside was that Pittman, his co-worker, was late again. Matt would have been mad about having to man the security desk by himself if Pittman's presence wasn't utterly insufferable. The guy introduced himself as Pittman and refused to wear his name tag so Matt didn't even know his first name. Seriously, what sort of prick gives  _ themselves  _ a nickname? The later he was, the better.

 

Besides, it wasn't like there was much to do. Matt had assumed it would be one of the perks of the job, he could coast through a few hours sat looking at unchanging screens and get paid for it. He soon learned why the position required no experience and there wasn't any competition. It was possibly the most boring job in existence.

 

It wasn't like art galleries were thrilling during the day and they were worse at night. His first night on the job, Matt took a look around the place and he didn't really see what the fuss was about. They were just paintings of ladies staring into the distance, or horses, or some weird religious stuff. Sometimes all at once.

 

He was just trying to picture what a religious half horse, half woman might look like when an alarm sounded from the second floor. Fucking fantastic. It was a fire alarm too so he couldn't use the lift. It was probably Pittman. He'd set off a fire alarm more than once because he was still smoking when he came in.

 

Matt reached the floor where the alarm had sounded, cursing his co-worker silently and pretending he wasn't out of breath from two flights of stairs. But Pittman wasn't there, no one was, and there was no fire. He'd almost rather there had been a fire, at least then he could go home. Shitty security system, the museum couldn't be bothered to get it fixed and Matt was the one running around after it.

 

Settled back in his booth, thoughts began to worm out of the silence. Thoughts about the life decisions that led him here, a dead end job that bored the shit out of him. Thoughts about the band he knew was never going anywhere. Thoughts about how his daily interactions were with oblivious talentless wasters and one colossal prick. Since he was surrounded by these people, which one of these did that make him? His bandmate Jeremy was his only actual friend and he’s been strangely absent recently, at least they didn’t have any performances they needed to rehearse for.

 

“It's the fucking same day after day after day after-” Matt's muttering was cut off as the intercom buzzed. He'd been leaning backwards on his chair and had to grip the table to stay upright. He pushed the button to reply.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Police, we're responding to a disturbance call? You're gonna need to give us access to the building.”

 

On the CCTV footage were two officers, the sturdy ginger woman who had spoken and a lanky man who appeared to be talking into the radio clipped to his uniform. 

 

“Oh um, yeah. Sure thing.”

 

It was only after he’d pressed the button to allow them access that Matt realised that there were probably protocols and procedures to this sort of thing. But it was St. Patrick’s Day, maybe some kids had been throwing bottles over the wall while drinking. God knows that’s what Matt would rather be doing right now. Drinking, that is. Throwing bottles, he could take or leave. Besides, what harm could come from a little chat with the police.

 

***

 

Quite a lot of harm, it turns out. 

 

They'd asked Matt to come out from behind his desk as they thought there was a default warrant on him. Needed to check ID or some shit. Perhaps it was because they were officers, or that they were both very attractive, but Matt felt inclined to obey without question. So that's how he ended up spread eagled up against the wall, realising his lapse in judgement only as he heard the damning click of the handcuffs. 

 

“Hey, what the hell? I haven't done anything wrong.” Matt protested before his face was pushed against the wall.

 

It was the tall sandy-haired man who'd cuffed him and was now pressed against his back. Matt could practically feel the man grin against his neck as he leaned in to whisper.

 

“Let's keep it that way sweetheart. You're not being arrested, this is a robbery. Just be a good boy for us and Jack and I won't hurt you.”

 

Of course the first criminal Matt ran into would have an English accent. Good to see that the British villain trope wasn't just in the movies, and that it was as smug as ever.

 

“Don’t worry, they don’t pay me enough to get hurt”, Matt huffed, ignoring the pet names his captor seemed keen on using.

 

“Good choice, kid” the woman said, ‘Jack’ if that was her real name, “Now, CCTV tapes?”

 

Matt grunted as the man pushed him down to sit on the floor, “That thing that looks like a VCR. Yeah, not exactly high tech around here.”

 

Jack ejected the tape and smiled as she threw it up and caught it again. “Sweet, my Docs should take care of these,” and with that she crushed the tape under her boot.

 

It was then that Matt realised that neither “Jack” or “Gavin” had covered their faces. Even though those probably weren’t their real names, Matt could definitely describe them to the police. These two weren’t exactly what he’d expected criminals to be but they didn’t seem stupid. Which meant-

 

“...hello? Hey-” Gavin looked at the nametag on Matt’s shirt, “Matt. Matt?”

 

“Oh. Uh, yeah?” Matt really shouldn’t have felt this comfortable being on first name terms with the people holding him hostage.

 

“Our buyer’s got a specific piece in mind, It's a… Rembrat? Rimbrand?” 

 

“Rembrandt,” Matt corrected, he’d heard of that artist at least.

 

“...Yeah. Anyway, it’s something about a storm and it has a boat in it . Now I could take a nice little tour of the museum, but I don't really fancy doing that so tell us where the painting is, yeah?” 

 

Somehow Gavin managed to make it sound like the man he was asking a favour from wasn’t in handcuffs, which is probably what gave Matt the confidence to reply in the way that he did.

 

“Do I look like an art nerd to you?”

 

Gavin spat out a laugh and Matt felt a spike of pride (and possibly relief), it was the first time he’d made anyone cute laugh in a while. Even if he was a criminal.

 

“Well you look like a nerd. And as for art? Well, you’re certainly pretty…”

 

Oh fuck.

 

Fucking shit.

 

Matt was not flirting with his captor, no way. That was not something that anyone with a sense of self-preservation would do. Besides, this had to all be part of his little game. He might be attractive and charming but Matt would have to resist. Apparently resisting just resulted in stuttering, which only made Gavin grin harder.

 

“You knew the name of that painter so-”

 

“Oh my friend Jeremy is kind of an arty guy. I have a video of him ranting about artists when he got really drunk the other week. Took him a few tries to say the guy’s name but from what I gather he thinks Rembrandt is “fucking sick dude”.”

 

Gavin was trying and failing to keep a straight face. Matt realised he’d been rambling again. He probably didn’t get too many hostages trying to tell him their life’s story.

 

“Jeremy, huh?” he turned and raised his eyebrows at Jack who had briefly looked up from picking bits of plastic from the treads of her boots, “yeah, I'd like to see that video sometime.”

 

These guys just kept getting stranger and stranger.

 

“Oh yeah sure thing man. I'd love to show you random ass videos of my friends but unfortunately some asshole handcuffed me, apparently just so we could sit and chat all night”

 

“Cute  _ and  _ snarky. Oh, I like you Matt.”

 

“Shut up. Let’s just get this over with.”

 

***

The painting they were looking for wasn’t on the first floor, or even the second, but Matt’s captors seemed more amused than annoyed.

 

“You have to know something about this place dude, you work here,” Jack said as they climbed the next set of stairs, “How do you not know where this painting is? Aren’t you supposed to do rounds or some shit?” 

 

“Yeah well, I also let criminals into the building, I’m not a good security guard,” Matt pointed out, much to Gavin’s delight. 

 

“You can say that again. Hey Matt, ever thought about-”

 

Gavin was cut off by an elbow to the side from Jack who gave a terrifyingly stern look before pointing across the room towards one of the paintings. It must have been the one they’d been looking for as Gavin clapped Jack on the back and they began arguing about what the best way to get it out of the building was. Surprisingly, Jack didn’t agree with Gavin’s idea that dropping it out of the window to save time was the way to go. Somewhere in the midst of Gavin’s explanation of how the right trajectory would stop the painting from getting damaged, Matt thought of something although he didn’t know why he voiced it.

 

“Hey uh, quick question,” he started, and the pair turned to him immediately, “is there any way this painting could be traced back  to the uh, person who wants it? Something about the artist or this particular work that links to them?”

 

“No,” Jack answered quickly, ready to return to her argument with Gavin but he held up a hand to stop her, still looking at Matt.

 

“Wait a second, there’s other people that know he wants this exact painting, Matt’s got a point.”

 

“What point?” Jack asked.

 

Matt went to shrug but the handcuffs made that a little difficult, “I think you should-”

 

“Take more paintings,” both he and Gavin said simultaneously.

 

Matt blushed, “Well yes, I think that might help. If the name of this painting is in the headlines and everyone’s focus is on it, someone might come forward or… yeah.” 

 

He’d trailed off, uncertain that his paranoid ramblings were even being listened to, but he looked up to see a smiling Gavin and a vaguely impressed Jack. He still wasn’t sure why he was helping these people who’d handcuffed him and were robbing his place of work. Maybe it was his intense need for validation no matter the situation, or a way to prove that he wasn’t just some useless security guard. Either way, it definitely had nothing to do with the cute criminal who was now literally patting him on the back for his idea. Matt shouldn’t care what he thinks. And he doesn’t. Nope.

 

“I’m surprised you guys took this job. You two seem to know as much about art as I do.”

 

Gavin laughed, “Well there was supposed to be... someone else here with us. But, there were some reasons that meant it wasn’t such a good idea. He’s real into art though, kind of like your bandmate Jeremy, he’s-”

 

“Bandmate?” Matt’s heart stuttered, “I never said… I didn’t tell you about the band.”

 

Gavin froze for a moment, mouth open, “Uh, yeah you did! You definitely did, when you mentioned your mate you said-”

 

“Oh my God.”

 

Matt was beginning to piece it together. Gavin knew Jeremy. Jeremy was always buying Matt lunch or offering to replace broken equipment himself. He’d once turned up to practice with blood on his face and rubble on his jacket, and Matt had just bought his excuse about a bar fight. Well, Jeremy was very good at fighting, so he’d make the perfect-

 

“Criminal,” Matt muttered, breath slightly heavier than before, “Jeremy’s been… he’s in a gang.”

 

“Alright love, take a deep breath for me.”

 

Gavin was crouched in front of him and although his words were supposed to be calming he was moving his hands way too fast. Wait, crouched? Since when was Matt on the floor? 

 

Jeremy. He’d recommended this place to them, and now they’d broken in. He couldn’t come along because he’d be recognised, it would put Matt in an awkward position. Then again, wasn’t he in an awkward position now? He’d seen Jack and Gavin’s faces, they couldn’t let him go after this. Jeremy knew that, but he’d still sent them here, knowing that they’d have to-

 

Matt hadn’t realised that his thoughts had been spilling out of his mouth until Gavin’s hands gripped his shoulders and gave him a gentle shake.

 

“Matt. Earth to Matthew?” Gavin looked relieved when Matt’s eyes finally focussed on his own, “Listen, we’re not gonna do away with you. Yeah, Jeremy’s with us, but he didn’t send us here to screw you over. He didn’t even really want us to come, until we discussed the possibility of bringing you in.”

 

“I should have guessed it, Jeremy was always very quiet about his day job. Or I guess his night job. Wait, do you guys always do this kind of stuff at night?” 

 

“Most of the time, it’s way more cool.” 

 

“How is it “way more cool”? It’s cliché. Plus, it’s harder to do crimes in the daytime so isn’t that cooler?”

 

“ _ Boys _ .” Jack was trying to lift the painting off the wall by herself and looked pretty impatient, “Come over and give me a hand, not you Matt obviously.”

 

Matt had jiggled his handcuffs and opened his mouth to say something before Jack cut him off. He gave Gavin a half shrug and exaggeratedly turned around to point at Jack with the hands that were behind his back, delighted when he laughed in response.

 

“Alright you sausage, help us out will you? You can at least hold the doors open.”

 

***

“Hey, Gavin?” Matt asked as they were loading the last painting into the van. He’d remembered something Gavin had said earlier.

 

“Hm?”

 

“Did you mean what you said about bringing me with you?”

 

“Well, yeah. Jeremy told us how good you are with computers and Geoff wants to give you a shot. If things don’t work out we figured you wouldn’t want to tell on your best mate anyway.”

 

“So, you guys want to hire me?” Matt was relieved, even though these guys were with Jeremy he had still worried about ending up as their prisoner, or worse.

 

“Unless you’re really attached to this job,” Gavin scoffed and gestured to the museum behind them “Don’t worry, we won’t ask them for a reference. I have a feeling it wouldn’t be very good.”

 

“We’re still gonna have to blindfold you for today though,” Jack seemed a little apologetic as she handed a scrap of fabric to Gavin, “It might be a while before you can join us properly, even if you impress Geoff we’ll have to wait until everything’s died down.”

 

Jack hopped into the driver’s side and started the van. Gavin stood behind Matt and tied the blindfold, his hands were surprisingly gentle and he seemed to be taking care not to catch Matt’s hair in the knot. 

 

Despite this being the man who had cuffed him and robbed his place of work, Matt felt safe in Gavin’s hands. So yeah, Matt was totally screwed. 

 

“Handcuffs  _ and  _ a blindfold? That’s pretty presumptuous of you, could’ve at least taken me on a date first.”

 

Matt regretted those words before they’d even left his mouth, the last few coming out as a mumble. Unfortunately, Gavin was close enough to hear them and he gave Matt’s arm a teasing stroke as he came face to face with him again.

 

“Oh, Matthew. You don’t consider this a first date?”

 

Was it healthy for a human’s heart to beat this fast? Matt wasn’t the healthiest man on the planet but even this was a bit much for him. 

 

“N-no. I’m no expert on the dating front but I’ve never seen “hold your date hostage” anywhere in Cosmo.”

 

Gavin laughed at that. Jesus, Matt really liked that laugh. Really,  _ really  _ liked that laugh.

 

“I’m sorry love. Perhaps this will make up for it.”

 

Gavin’s gentle, teasing voice was getting closer and it felt like their faces were now inches apart.

 

Their lips met.

 

Matt gasped a little at the first brush but when Gavin pulled back he followed him. The sweet press of Gavin’s lips made him feel breathless but he wouldn’t trade a second of it.

 

The van’s horn sounded and Matt heard Jack yell out of the window,

 

“For fuck’s sake, get in or so help me God-”

 

They broke apart and Gavin rested his forehead on Matt’s for a second before guiding him into the van. Suddenly all Matt could think about was how glad he was that Pittman never showed up to work.

 

***

 

“You fucking  _ made out with the hostage?  _ ”

 

“Oh come on, his name’s Matt and it was only a little peck.”

 

“I know what his fucking name is,  _ he’s my bandmate dumbass.” _

 

“Well if you need anyone to play the trumpet, Matt will tell you I’m pretty good at blowing...”

 

“Gavin, the car journey was five minutes long and Matt’s still handcuffed and blindfolded.”

 

“Sounds like a cracking blowjob to me.”

 

“... Guys I’m right here.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it lads!!
> 
> Come hit me up @ braggvin on tumblr


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